Sunday, April 24, 2011

BASKING IN HIS MERCY AND GRACE

I thought I would share my heart and soul with my wonderful blog followers.

I am celebrating the resurrection of our Lord and also a new book contract .
I was granted a contract for :
MY BROTHER IS MY BEST FRIEND
God is awesome, in celebration please enjoy the two poems I wrote.
HAPPY EASTER TO ALL!



VAST AS THE OCEAN

Vast as the ocean is your love for me Heavenly Father
with you, there is no turning back. I will forever be
your daughter, not because I deserve it, but because
your son paid the ultimate price by giving up his life
for a wretched sinner like me.
Vast as the ocean are your desires to meet my every need
for with you, there is no burden too big
you take pleasure in seeing that I am well taken care of.
Vast as the ocean are your thoughts towards me
so much so, you have written a book just for me
Oh! Savior Divine, how I love thee! My love
for thee is as vast as the beautiful azure ocean
that you so lovingly blessed mankind with!







MY HEART

My heart overflows with glee.

Every single day you shower me with your goodness.

Free From sin, you empower me with your Holy Spirit.

In every situation, I am a conqueror.

Heavenly Father there is no limit to your kindness.

You favor me, even though I am not worthy.

Such love and devotion set ablaze a fire in my heart, that will surely Last forever!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

AN INTERVIEW WITH JAKKI SLAVIN:ARE TWINS HEREDITARY?

Below is an interview I did with my very good friend Jakki Slavin.  Thanks Jakki for doing this interview.


1)     Studies have shown that twins are hereditary; do you have twins in your family?

I have a rich history of fertility when it comes to multiple births within my family tree. My grandmother had a set of twins. One of my aunts gave birth to triplets. A few of my cousins have twins. My only sister has fraternal twins, and I have fraternal twins. I am told that my father had a pair of twins from a previous marriage who passed away in a fire many years ago.

When my sister had her twin daughters three years prior to my giving birth to fraternal twins, I felt such a sense of relief and was happy it was her and not me. I had been told that multiples usually skip a generation.  After my sister's babies were born; I thought   there was no way we could both have twins. Boy was I wrong.    

2)  How difficult was it raising your twins?  Can you explain how you handled any sibling rivalry issues?

Raising a family when multiple births are involved is not for the faint of heart. It was without a doubt one of the most complex challenges I’d ever faced. With very little assistance and even less guidance from family or friends, I often questioned and second guessed many of my decisions. If there was a manual out there to help guide me through those murky years, I never found it. Besides, I wouldn’t have had the time to read it anyway.

I already had a three year old son by the time my twins were born so I figured I knew enough about babies and could handle a few more. After all, how difficult could it be?  I was in for a shock when I realized that nothing was easy about it, and it was not going to be for at least 18 more years. Everything from grocery shopping to vacuuming took three times longer to complete.    

Within one year, I went from a stay at home mom to a displaced, unemployed single parent with two one year olds and a four year old. Because my fraternal twins are a male and a female, most situations were handled according to gender.

The jury is still out on some of those decisions. Sibling rivalries were mostly due to someone needing or wanting more attention than the other. Every day I tried to give each child at least 30 minutes of individual time. Often times someone’s time would get interrupted by a sibling, so I had to change the game plan. Special treats and rewards became a life saver for me.

 My children were rarely out of my eye sight, and because it was just us for a long time, we did practically everything together.  A social life for me seemed impossible.  So as they got older, I eventually found other moms that were in the same situation as me.  My children had someone to play with and I on the other hand had a new female friend that I could socialize with.

3) How did your oldest handle having twin siblings?    

Surprisingly, it was usually my oldest son who at four years old still did not know what to think about his new siblings. He was my greasy wheel until he started school. As they all got older, I tried to stay out of most of their conflicts. I was very fortunate that most times they managed to work it out among themselves. To this day, they are all very close and supportive of each other.


4) All three of your children are now attending college and are well adjusted young adults, what exactly did you do to set them up for success?

I continuously instilled in them the importance of an education, regardless of our economic status.  I gave only two choices, college or military. Of course my oldest son rebelled against both for several years after his high school graduation, but has since come to appreciate the value of an education in these distressed economic times.

I am proud to say that all of my children graduated high school with honors; all are in college and are on a path towards success for their individual futures. I don’t believe I did anything extraordinary as a mom. I stayed involved in their lives in every way I could, and I supported them in any extracurricular activities that they chose to get involved in. I was and still am their biggest cheerleader.

5) Do you have any advice for parents who are raising twins?

Whether multiples are fraternal or identical, I feel it is important to teach them to be individuals. There were many times when it would have been easier to lump them into a one size fits all status, but intuitively I didn’t feel it was the right thing to do.

 As a parent of multiples, there will be many sleepless nights, a great deal of frustration and at times a pity party for one, but the greatest joy and the biggest reward comes from knowing that God gave me the task because he knew I could do it.

The twins at six weeks old

This is Trent the twin's handsome older brother!


Picture of the twins, Tyler and Taylor taken at their high school graduation May 2010





Sunday, April 10, 2011

SIBLING RIVALRY - A FEW TIPS ON HOW TO DEFUSE IT





I am forever the optimist.  I am one of those people that see the glass half full instead of half empty.  I was verbally abused as a young child; I learned early on to block out the negatives by daydreaming about things in a positive way.  This is one of the reasons I wrote my second trilingual book as two twin sisters being best friends.  
Even though I do not have twins, but I know from raising three children, there can be plenty of friction between siblings.  Conflict is part of life; consequently, it is important to teach your child how to resolve issues that may come up.
If you have twins or any other children   and are having a hard time figuring out how to reduce the tensions between them, here are a few tips on how to restore peace:
1) Sometimes jealousy can set in; one way to handle that is to make individual time for each child.  Giving undivided attention will make a child feel very special.  Perhaps you and your spouse should take turn taking each child out. In my household, I call it: "SPECIAL TIME WITH MOM" "SPECIAL TIME WITH DAD."  For example, every year until my daughter went to college, I took her to see the Nutcracker in December.  My husband would take my son to a basketball game.  When my son was still living at home, my husband took Tae-Kwando lessons with him.   My oldest ended up getting a Black Belt in Tae- Kwando his junior year of high school.
2)  Never compare them to each other.  Try to focus on what they are good at.  Looking closely at what your child does well will help build self-esteem.
3) Children always emulate their parents; try to be a role model by handling conflicts that may come up in a constructive manner.
4) Remember, children go through many emotional ups and downs as they continue to develop; be sure to practice lots of patience with them.  Let them know you will be there for them no matter what. 
5) Always show your support by giving tons, and tons of positive feedbacks and affirmations.  I tell my children, I love them every chance I get.   I make a big deal when they accomplish a goal.  For example, today my 15 year old shot a perfect three pointer at 51 seconds remaining in his league basketball game.  We won the game!  I made sure to compliment him and took him out to eat lunch.